All I Had
by a far away world
Summary: Merlin had been very, very close to Arthur. Arthur had been his everything and Merlin loved him and Arthur had loved him. But when Arthur made his choice he had lost more then a chance for Merlin to date him. All Merlin had was hope and now...it was gone, with everything else.


Merlin stood outside in the cool moonlight, tears flowed down his face and he made no move to wipe them away. He was done, for real this time, over. The one person he trusted, the one person he had come to love more than anything, the one person he had, was, going to give everything to, had betrayed him and threw everything, their friendship, their trust, away. Like trash. He of course knew Arthur regretted what he did but it a still didn't lessen the hurt. It ran deep. Like a wound. He had basically been, no he **had** been, Arthur's boyfriend by the way they acted, they were that close.

Merlin looked out into the woods and began to run and run and run. He was trying to escape all the memories that were drowning him to death. Merlin's tears bleared his vision as his feet tripped over the roots and holes in the ground below his feet. But he was getting away and away and away. He put on more speed as that night came back to him.

"You don't deserve all this, Merlin," Arthur had said to him as he cupped Merlin's face with his hand and ran his thumb down Merlin's check. "Everything will be okay, I promise, okay. Don't worry."

Merlin had looked at him with a smile and had seen the love Arthur had for him in his eyes and nodded, "Are you sure? You're gonna pick them though, you always do." Merlin said speaking of Arthur's controlling boyfriend who was emointaily abusive, controlling, and a jealous fat bastard and every time Merlin told him to make a descion it was always him, but Merlin never gave up hope. But things had to be decided tonight, for Merlin was done playing games, it wasn't right to him or the other boy. It was one or the other, not both, Merlin didn't do the cheating shit.

"Merlin, don't worry, okay." Arthur said and hugged him close and then left to take care of business.

Merlin kept running and running until his lunge burned with fire and he had to stop. He had ended up in a clearing. It was quiet, peaceful, to a point no sound was heard. Merlin bent over and breathed in sweet air.

The thing was though; in the end Arthur had broken up with him but had gotten back together because the guy had come back crying that night. He had lied to Merlin and had thrown the trust he had for him down the toilet. If only Arthur had called Merlin right away, but what could Merlin do, there was nothing he could do. Arthur had made his descion, it was a dumb one, because of him he ruined everything they had, their friendship most of all and that hurt. They would never go back to how they were, never be that close. Arthur had been the one he could tell everything to and be his true self around and now…though he should thank him for one thing and that was the fact Merlin found his true self because of Arthur and could be himself. He still loved him but those feelings like this hurt would go away soon enough it would just take time. But, in a way, he was free now. He didn't hate Arthur at all, nor would he not be his friend, but things would be different now and Arthur….well Merlin didn't know but that was his problem now and not Merlin's.

Merlin looked into the sky as his cell phone went off, he looked at the name and sighed, Arthur, he clicked and saw a text. He read it and responded to it, but that was it, he didn't try anymore to fix things, because things couldn't be fix, they were done. For good. But Merlin, in the end, as he wiped away his tears, would be okay. Because he had others that cared for him, that would show that love and prove it in a way that it should be unlike him.

Hey, guys, sorry I haven't wrote in a while things have been hetic. This is inspired by events that just really happened to me. A guy I knew, was my best friend, and he had a mean gf, me and him were rlly rlly close and he loved me and I him but when it came down to it, when he said I was worth everything and that it was all gonna be okay, he stayed with her and lied to me and flushed our friendship down the toilet along with my trust for him. But what can I do, you know, cept take it day by day. Sides there's other boy fishies in the sea for this girl!

Please review!


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